In the past, Missouri courts, and courts in most states, favored mothers when it came to primary child custody judgments. Fortunately, things have changed, the laws in Missouri have changed, and now judges are required to give both mothers and fathers the equal chance to have legal and physical custody of their children in order to parent them and spend quality meaningful time with their children.
Because of these days gone by when Missouri courts typically leant toward awarding primary custody to women, men still to this day believe the law is stacked against them when it comes to divorce and child custody. Now listen, it's indisputable that every judge is a unique person with their own personal experiences and opinions. There still could certainly exist judges who believe children are better off spending more time with their mother. And in general family law outcomes can vary amongst different judges, jurisdictions and states. However, Missouri law has for quite a few years been constructed to give both parents an equal opportunity to have a relationship with their child. In my experience, both parents receiving an unbiased child custody determination is what typically occurs in Missouri courts.
In past decades, think pre-1990s, there was a connotation that differentiated family courts of different states as "mother states" or "father states." These classifications were based on the perception that each state favored custody toward the mother of the child or toward the father of the child. Today, almost univerally in the U.S., such broad descriptions of custody laws in any state are simply unfounded. There are no longer mother states or fathers states. However, as mentioned previously, each judge is different and has the legal right to rule as they choose to.
Do Missouri courts favor mothers or fathers?
The state of Missouri is neither a mother or father state because the current laws do not favors one parent over the other. Rather, Missouri is a 50-50 state. A 50-50 state means the state laws mandate that mothers and fathers are given an equal opportunity at custody. Judges also regularly prefer joint custody in most instances. The Missouri legislature promulgated laws in this manner because they believe it is in the best interests of the child to have a meaningful relationship with both their mother and father, just as the child would have had if the parents were still together and no separation had taken place.
Obviously this doesn't mean each parent will always be awarded custody of their children. Courts are also required to make decisions based on what is in the best interests of the children. Parents in some situations simply should not have joint custody or even unsupervised visitation for a multitude of reasons and courts recognize this.
Types of custody in Missouri
When parents are divorced, or when unmarried parents have a child, or when any child is born, there is often a concern or dispute amongst the child’s parents regarding issues associated with raising the child. Child custody in Missouri is fairly straight forward.
Missouri courts distinguish child custody into legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody dictates which parent makes decisions regarding the child’s upbringing. Legal custody involves which parent will decide issues such as which school the child will attend, which doctors and dentists the child will see for medical care, what religion the child will be exposed to, what extracurricular activities the child will participate in, and many other of the plethora of decisions parents encounter when raising a child. Physical custody, on the other hand, describes where and with who the child will live, and which parent will spend time with the child.
Custody in Missouri is further subdivided as sole custody and joint custody. The meaning of these phrases is obvious, sole custody is when one parent has all the rights, and joint custody is when the parents share the rights and responsibilities. To this end, child custody in Missouri can be sole legal custody and sole physical custody by one parent, sole legal custody and joint physical custody, joint legal custody and sole physical custody, and joint legal custody and joint physical custody. The later, joint legal custody and joint physical custody, is the arrangement Missouri courts prefer and what most custody arrangements will end up looking like unless there are valid reasons an alternative arrangement is preferable and in the best interests of the child.
How is child custody determined in Missouri?
As mentioned above, Missouri courts consider what is in the best interests of the child when making rulings regarding child custody. However, the courts in Missouri will take into consideration other factors as well.
The wishes of the mother and father
Not surprisingly courts in Missouri place tremendous weight on what the parents of the child want when making decisions regarding child custody. Parents have a legal and moral right to make decisions pertaining to their children. While the wishes of the mother and father of a child may differ, courts will nonetheless strongly consider what the parents want for their child when it comes to custody arrangements.
The wishes of the child
Courts will usually take into consideration what the child wants when it comes to legal and physical custody, to an extent. The extent depends a large part on the age of the child. Obviously young children will not likely be able to express valid opinions regarding custody arrangements, but as children age they are better able to express such desires. As the child ages, courts will increasingly take into consideration what the child wants when it comes to custody decisions. When the child approaches adulthood, their desires often become one of the most important factors in custody determinations.
The mental health of all the parties
Unfortunately mental health disorders are very common and can have a profound impact on one’s life. This is especially true when it comes to raising children and the determination of child custody. Fortunately, in Missouri there are more resources and better healthcare to treat mental health disorders than ever before. Most mental health disorders are treatable.
Unfortunately, many individuals suffering from mental health issues avoid treatment either because they don’t want it, or feel they don’t need. The troubling reality is many people with mental health issues simply are not aware of the problem. If a parent’s mental health is detrimental to their child or their ability to properly raise their child, Missouri courts will definitely consider these issues when making custody rulings.
The ability of each parent to care for their children
Not all parents are built the same. Raising a child is not only one of life’s most important and rewarding tasks, it's also extremely difficult and oftentimes thankless. Not every person is cut out to raise a child. For example, a parent whose job requires constant travel making them often unavailable to their child may not end up with a custody arrangement they like. Remember courts care about the child and they are required to make decisions consistent with the best interests of the child.
Any history of abuse or criminal activity
It goes without saying, a parent with a history of domestic abuse will have the cards stacked against them when it comes to child custody decisions, and for good reason. The best interests of the child usually doesn't involve exposing them to potentially abusive situations with one of their parents. Similarly, criminal charges reflect negatively on a parent’s ability to properly raise a child. Depending on the crime, courts will place significant emphasis on a parent’s criminal record in making custody determinations. We aren’t talking about speeding tickets here, courts are only concerned with a history of more serious criminal issues.
What the court determines to be in the best interests of the child is not always what both parents had hoped would happen. If you are not happy with the custody arrangement of your child, there are several actions you can take. First, consult with an experienced Missouri family law attorney. Second, be patient and prove to the court that they made the wrong decision by your actions and parenting.
On a personal level, I firmly believe joint child custody is by far the superior option in most instances. My parents were divorced in 1981 when I was 5. In those days the every other weekend custody arrangement was commonplace. My mother was a sweet and caring mother, but as I got older I realized my development as a man and my self confidence were both seriously hampered by only seeing my father twice a month. I had much more in common with father compared to my mother and I always felt like I didn't belong with my mother's side of the family. Children need mothers and fathers involved in their lives!
Custody decisions regarding your child can be challenging and even heart wrenching. If you are a man facing child custody issues in Missouri, it is essential you contact an experienced attorney familiar with child custody issues for fathers in Missouri. Please call us at the Men’s Center for Domestic Resolution for a consultation at (816) 287-1530. If you don’t call our office, I urge you to consult another qualified attorney to make sure your legal rights are protected when it comes to custody of your child.
Your's truly,
Rob Davis, DDS, Attorney at Law
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