The Missouri Supreme Court defines mediation as “a process in which a neutral third party facilitates communications between the parties to promote settlement.” Missouri Supreme Court Rule 17.01. In family law, most mediators are experienced family law attorneys familiar with the courts in the area. The mediation process is advantageous for both the divorcing parties and their attorneys by providing a private setting in order to negotiate the matters without the strict rules of a courtroom.
Mediation provides a nonpartisan and safeguarded environment to aide the parties to discuss their desires and options in order to facilitate an agreement that is a win-win for both parties. Finally, family law mediation in Missouri is non-binding, meaning either party can change their mind after mediation, and the mediator does make any decisions pertaining to the outcome. A mediator’s role is not to decide the outcome, but to use their skill and experience to help the parties come to an agreement themselves.
Divorce or family law mediation is a confidential procedure where a neutral mediator encourages effective communication and negotiation amongst the parties to facilitate them reaching a mutually beneficial agreement. A successful mediation can save time and money by settling the dispute prior to a trial.
Family law mediation offers several benefits. Because mediation is non-binding, it tends to be much less contentious and there is less conflict than in an actual trial in court. When matters are resolved through mediation generally less emotional damage is done to the family as a whole, and healing can begin immediately. Mediation is also much faster, saving time and money. If a divorce or child custody case proceeds to trial, the parties do not get to decide what the outcome will be, because that is entirely up to the judge. In mediation the parties, together, have absolute control of the outcome and there is usually less risk of an adverse outcome for both parties.
Our Cass County divorce lawyer, attorney Rob Davis, is a strong proponent of mediation and resolving matters before they get close to trial. In fact, he believes a good attorney should rarely have to go to trial if they are doing their job properly. The only reasons a Cass County divorce case or child custody case should go to trial is if the other party is being stubborn and completely unreasonable, or the child custody arrangement proposed is not in the best interests of the child.
At the Men’s Center for Domestic Resolution in Cass County, Missouri, we take mediation very seriously because it is our goal to resolve the case at mediation. It is important for a client to meet with their family law attorney prior to mediation to develop a strategy and review the matters that are significant to the case. Men should have at least 3 acceptable outcomes in their minds when they start mediation, including the best possible outcome, the middle ground or fair outcome, and the least favorable outcome they would be willing to accept. This makes mediation less stressful and emotional because you can hold firm in your positions and not be convinced otherwise. However, having multiple acceptable outcome also shows the mediator you are reasonable and somewhat flexible.
In most courts in Missouri, family law mediation is mandatory for divorce and child custody cases. This is not only because of the benefits of mediation explained above, but also because the court system would be completely overwhelmed and could not function if every case proceeded to trial. Generally mediation will be one of the first steps in a contested divorce. In Cass County, the court will not even usually consider a motion for temporary child custody until the parties attend mediation.
Usually one of the attorneys in a Cass County divorce or child custody case will file a motion to mediate with the court. The opposing attorneys will then each suggest three mediators they are comfortable with and attempt to decide which mediator will be used. In the Kansas City, Missouri area there are many wonderful family mediators so deciding on a mediator typically isn’t a difficult task. If the attorneys cannot decide on a mediator, the judge will appoint a mediator. Alternatively, the court may order mediation on its own accord, without a filing by either attorney.
The most common matter mediated in family law mediation is of course divorce. The main topics which need to be resolved in mediation are distribution of assets and liabilities, maintenance (alimony), and if children are involved, custody, visitation and child support. Often, this is the only time in the divorce process the parties can actually meet with each other peacefully in order to rationally discuss these matters. An experienced mediator will be able to give the parties an idea of what area judges might decide when it comes to who gets what assets, what child support or maintenance might be ordered, and what a reasonable child custody schedule would look like. Often, the nuts and bolts of a parenting plan can be largely completed during the mediation session.
Most courts will require two hours of mediation. In the Kansas City area, the current cost for two hours of mediation is between $400-$800, and this cost is divided between the parties. The mediator will typically require payment before the mediation can take place. Following the pandemic, some mediators have stayed with virtual meetings using platforms such as Zoom, while other mediators have moved back to traditional in-person meetings.
If there are many disputed matters in the case, in-person mediation does have small advantages. For these contentious cases, both parties' attorneys will usually also attend the mediation to support and advise their clients. For less disputed matters, the parties can attend mediation alone in order to save on attorney’s fees. Obviously if both spouses' attorneys attend the mediation, that’s 4 hours of lawyer’s fees added on top of the cost of the mediator’s fees.
To be completely prepared for mediation, it is best to gather as many important documents as you can, and arrange them in a binder with each section labelled so it can be easily located. These records include financial documents such as tax returns, pay stubs, bank account statements, credit card statements, investment or retirement fund statements, and loan documents. For assets, include a list of valuable assets, deed, titles, appraisals, and any other documents pertaining to properties owned. For parenting time, you should have a rough outline of the schedule you would like used in the final parenting plan. For this you need to consider all holidays, birthdays, potential vacations, and a summer vacation schedule if school-aged children are involved.
An experienced Cass County, MO divorce attorney is invaluable in preparing men for family law mediation. The right attorney can save you time and money, and prevent further psychological damages to the split family. Call attorney Rob Davis today at the Men’s Center for Domestic Resolution in Pleasant Hill, MO at (816) 287-1530 to schedule a consultation to discuss your family law matter. Attorney Rob Davis focuses only on representing men through difficult divorce, child custody and other family law matters in Cass County and Jackson County, Missouri.
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